"Why is it that if a woman sleeps with lots of men she's a slut, but if she refuses to sleep with any of them she's a bitch?"- Adele Lang & Susi Rajah

In the final chapter of "Prude: How the Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls (and America, too!)" the author, Carol Platt Liebau, leaves the readers with a final nine points and a brief conclusion. I would like to share them with you.

#1. Her first point is that "We Are Not Alone." She states that there are indeed millions of Americans who are concerned about the presence of sex in America. So, if you are a 'prude' like her you should not feel alone. A large percentage of America believes that those who hold this concern "have no right to exercise our own judgment about what's suitable for the public square" (p. 232). Liebau believes that these people, who are the ones to advocate sex, should be ignored.

#2. Her second point is that "It Is Possible to Change the Culture." Today, we live in a society that is permeated with sex, but something can be done about it. Years ago American society was permeated with alcohol and cigarettes. Though both are still issues in society they are not a 'popular' as they once were. Commercials for alcohol now feature a statement that says "please drink responsibly." Smoking is banned in most public areas and is not symbols for sophistication (e.g. Breakfast at Tiffany's) as they once was. "It wasn't because of government regulation, which, in most cases, conformed to public opinion rather than shaping it. Social attitudes about smoking changed because Americans came to realize that smoking --like drunk driving-- was a problem..." (p. 234). Liebau believes that this can be applied to sex as well. "Change can (and will) come, but only when a critical mass of Americans decide that the tangible and intangible costs imposed by gratuitous sex in the public square are unacceptably high, and that it's more important to protect young people's innocence than it is to exercise our right to be exposed in public to titillating words and images" (p. 237).

#3. Her third point is that "Give Girls Great Expectations, and Break the Vicious Cycle." She argues that girls today "believe that boys are unwilling to or incapable of establishing relationships that aren't based on sex" (p. 237). This has become ingrained in women since the onset of "do-me feminism." This idea that is stuck in their heads is pushing girls flaunt their sexuality so they can get a guy. To cure Americans of this picture Liebau suggests that "young women need to realize that their own behavior determines the quality of the guys they will attract. Sleazy behavior appeals to sleazy guys" (p. 237).

#4. Her fourth (and surprising point) concerns guys: "Don't Forget the Boys." The "do-me feminist" culture has caused men to view women as "easy." They've learned to harbor little respect for women (nowadays you'll find girls being referred to bitches, ho's, sluts, and hoochies by their boys, and you'll especially find this terminology in music lyrics) and expect nothing from them except one-sided pleasure during hookups. To solve this problem Liebau suggests that boys be taught how to be gentlemen.

#5. Her fifth point is that "Chastity Isn't Just a Religious Matter." Chastity, her main argument as a solution for the sex-obsessed culture, has become strictly associated with religion. We must change this image. Liebau argues that most arguments for sexual self-restraint do have religious underpinnings.

That doesn't mean, however, that the concept of sexual restraint is good, true,
or valid only for those who are part of a faith tradition that embraces
chastity. The physical, emotional, and psychological effects of giving too much,
too soon --and the self-confidence and self-respect that result from living up
to high standards and exercising self-restraint --aren't limited to religious
girls and their parents. (p. 241)

#6. Her sixth point is to "Take a Stand Against Lowest-Common-Denominator Capitalism." She argues that yes, the free market and mainstream have pushed sex in its products and advertising. They do this because they want to appeal to the greatest possible number of people, and sex does sell. But we cannot keep blaming the free market. "The beauty of capitalism is that it gives consumers free choice, thereby empowering all of us" (p. 242). We have the ability to reject the sex saturated media and advertising. "When young people join their elders in demanding a more wholesome culture and rejecting the sex-saturated excesses of the hookup culture, the market will respond" (p. 243).

#7. Her seventh point is "Set the Example, Bit by Bit." We all need to set standards for all aspects of America's sex culture. We need to create examples of how a real woman acts and what a real woman looks like. By doing this we send a message to girls that says when it comes to sexuality "having standards is, in fact, a sign of respect for oneself and others" (p. 244).
Though I agree with her argument, I strongly disagree with the examples Liebau on this issue. She uses the Gossip Girl series as an example of the kind of women girls today are looking up to. She argues that girls are looking up to the characters in the series for how to act and dress, and what kind of women a girl should be. Liebau believes the girls in this series are bad examples. I myself have read the entirety of Gossip Girl. Yes it does contain 'sex, drugs, and rock and roll' but it also contains designer cloths and top-of-the-line brands for just about everything else. If nothing else the series is advertising products rather than sex. Each time a character goes somewhere or enters a scene his or her cloths are described in detail. In fact, many of the scenes in the book deal with the characters interacting with cloths designers and attending parties and events that center around clothing. This book markets brand name clothing and other items more to readers than it does sex. In fact, a band name, any name really, is never given to condoms in the series.
Yes the series is in some ways saturated with sex. Of all the main characters in the series there are three that are distinctly prominent: two girls and one boy. In fact, the series revolves around the two girls who are both in love with that one boy and how the three of them react towards that fact. All three of them go through several relationships throughout the series, but neither girl successfully hook up with other guys besides that one boy. However, in several scenes the author, Cecily von Ziegesar, does in fact suggest to the readers that a couple, whichever one happens to be featured in the chapter, had intercourse. In none of the instances are the two people meeting up for casual sex. All couples are shown beforehand to be linked through deep romantic feelings. Though Prude does suggest abstinence as a solution to problems our overly sexed society is causing, but it does suggest that having sexual integrity is also not a bad idea. Regulating partners and not following the third wave's "do-me feminists" practices is sufficient to stem the tide of promiscuity among teen girls. Besides, the ultimate ending in the Gossip Girl series is, in my opinion, distinctly feminist. Both girls decide to give up the one boy and move on. All three of them separate paths and take their own future in their own hands.

Blair wiped the tears from her cheeks and straightened the bottom of her dress.
Nate wasn't there, but she still couldn't wait to get on that train. Serena
was going to be a big movie star, Nate was off sailing around the world, and
she was going to Yale -- her dream since she was a little girl. and who knew
what might happen there?...Blair boarded the train on her own, adjusting her
white pillbox hat and black Chanel sunglasses. She didn't know what Yale --
or the future -- would hold, but she couldn't wait to find out (Don't You Forget About Me 272).

This book is essentially what Teen People views it as "Sex and the City for the younger set." Except, the main characters don't end up in marriage (a belief held for thousands of years that suggests that the ultimate goal for women should be marriage) or in long-term relationships. The two main female characters are independent and enjoying what it's like to be a woman.

#8. Her eighth point is "Equal Doesn't Have to Mean the Same." Liebau argues that great strides have been made in women's rights and women's equality. However, no positive strides have been made in the area of sex. Young women are being taught to take sex like a man, and this is nothing short of a disservice. Robert McElvaine has dubbed this attitude as the "masculine mystique." He suggests through his idea of a "masculine mystique" that this attitude of having sex the same way men do embraces the ideas that "if it has long been a man's world, whatever men have done is what everyone should do." She herself states in response to this idea that "ironically, as girls have been encouraged to adopt male attitudes toward sex, they've been taught to deny, denigrate, or ignore the needs and desires that define them as female...In short, they've been taught that it's more important to have sex in the same way as a man than it is to claim an equal right to satisfying interactions with the opposite sex" (p. 246). "Do-me feminism" suggests that women are sexual creatures like men and should have the same opportunities when it comes to sex. Naomi Wolf, a feminist of the third wave, shares this idea and adds that women have a unique sexual power that is decidedly feminism. Women need to tap into this power in order to be a women and enjoy equal power. Liebau argues that though that may be true it's not happening. "And even as girls have been taught to flaunt the sexual power they can wield over their male counterparts, they've been deprived of the sweeter, more wholesome experience of discovering they have the power to influence men for good" (p. 246). She suggests that in order to fix this problem that young women need to realize that the sexed up America is just making men and women appear and try to become similar when it comes to intercourse.

#9. Her final point is that "Our Culture Isn't Just an American Matter." Countries from around the world are being influenced everyday by America due to globalization and technology. Because of the advancements made in satellite technology and television people in most parts of the earth can now access American television. Many of the programs they can now watch (e.g. the shows on MTV, HBO, CW) are saturated with sex. So not only are we now pushing our overly sexed culture on others (and possibly turning them into a sexed up society because every country wants to be like America) but we are also offending other countries. Many other countries are very conservative when it comes to sex (e.g. Middle Eastern countries). We offend them by pushing our vulgar culture on them when we seek to Americanize them. We also make fools of ourselves when we try to push other countries to see women as equals to men and to respect them, when all over our culture are images and lyrics that are overtly degrading to women. She suggests that we need to stem our sexed up culture so that we can be taken more seriously as a nation and set a good example for other countries without being a hypocrite.

Those are her nine points. But before she ends her book she leaves readers with some words against her critiques and a final thought concerning her beliefs. "For those who seem unconvinced, it's worth asking: Have the sexual revolution and the do-me feminism allowed America's young girls to really live happier, more wholesome lives? Are their thoughts, conversations, activities, and preoccupations more elevated? Are they healthier in body, mind, and spirit? The answer is obvious" (p. 248). Again I want to state that this book focuses primarily on abstinence as the answer to the problems our sex obsessed culture has created. Because of this, this book has been critiqued in a negative light profusely. Though I don't wholly agree with the idea that abstinence is the absolute answer, she makes a thorough argument and gives a reasonable answer to the sex issues.

There is a price for our collective unwillingness to confront a culture
dominated by sexual libertines. From our silence, young people can infer
consent, drawing the mistaken conclusion that adults believe what's happening
today is jut fine. Worse yet, our reticence can lead to abdication of the right
--and the responsibility-- to exercise judgment in the area of sex, as we do in
almost every other facet of our communal life. And exercising that judgment is
crucial to the happiness, health, and well-being of young people, boys, and
girls alike. (p. 249)